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Dear baby girl on your 11th birthday,


Addison Mae,
Addy,
My Maeflower,
My first born,
My only daughter,
The one that made me a mother before I even knew who I was, 


11 years.

Seems like such a lifetime,
But yet it's so short.
Haven't you always been here to do life together?
Was there life before? It’s hard to remember. 
The day you were born, I was also born.
The day you were born, I started living.
Haven't you always given me this smile?
Haven't I always felt this love for another?
As much as I have taught you through these 11 years, you have taught me more.
You opened my eyes to living, living life to the fullest.
We have molded each other into the best version we were meant to be.



When I was 21, still figuring out who I was, 
 my body changed to house this tiny little life.
My body grew to make room for you, it stretched, it moved. 
My skin stretched and scarred.
I had morning sickness.
 I needed shots to keep you right there safe in my body.
One day you're stretching and growing in my womb, then the next we are breathing the same air.

 I have loved you.
Since the very beginning.
And I would do it all again. 


With you here, life is better.
We have been through so much together,
Things you will never remember,
things I protected you from,
but feeling like I still failed you at times.


Watching you grow, learn, fail, become this person I'm so proud of. 
You are such a beautiful little soul.
Your heart is so big and your mind so open.
Chapstick, stranger things, Paris, animal, beach, smoothie, sticker addict.


Just know, life won't always go your way. People will hurt you and you will survive. You will grow and learn from it.
Don't let anyone dim your shine!
You won't always get what you want, but you'll always get what you need. 
And know, you have a great big family that is here for you and don't ever be afraid to tell us anything you need to- we've probably lived through it already.
We can't solve all your problems life throws at you, but just know you don't have to figure it out alone.


I know once we hit those teenage years, things may change and get rocky.
But we will navigate through those muddy waters together.
I know you won't always want, or need me there. 
You'll want to figure stuff out yourself, or think you already have it figured out.
But I will always be on the sidelines waiting when you decide you do need me.
So for now, I'll take in every moment you still hold my hand and crawl in bed with me to snuggle. I'll enjoy the innocence you still possess as a child. The space in between wanting to be your own person and wanting to be a kid playing with your little brothers still. 


Thank you for choosing me to be your mother.
Thank you for taking up that space in my heart and life permanently,
which was once just the space in my belly. 
I would not be the person I am today, without you.

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