Life.Planted.

How?  How is it already September?  How is it already the first day of school?  How has the sun set on summer vacation for the last time?  How have the days gone by already?  How is the house quiet?  How is there no one home who needs me besides the baby? How has eight grade, freshman year and senior year all begun? How am I mothering not one, but three teenagers?  The house grows quieter every new year with every goodbye.    Life always leaves me wishing for just one more slow morning, one more beach day, one more sunset, one more “Mom, can we…” Time keeps moving. The children keep growing. The seasons keep on changing.  While I was busy living it, summer became just another memory.  And somehow, every year, I find myself asking the very same question— How ? 

I woke to a baby nestled into me.  Nursing at the breast. Restless. Ready to greet the new day. I look down at him, the same as every morning.  A smile.  Wide eyes.  The brightest smile I’ve ever seen. And it was to me.  His mama. And my heart couldn’t be more full with warmth.  Even after a restless night. Like the night before.  And the night before that.  Actually, every night for the last seven months. And probably before that, while the little one was tucked safely underneath my heart.  But I don’t mind, because you are mine.  And I am yours.  And there is warm coffee and cream waiting for me.  My favorite mug.  And plenty of future naps.  I steal a few quiet moments to listen to you babble before we leave the comfort of our bed.  The sweetest little voice.  Then we begin our journey down the stairs.  Stepping over sleeping dogs stretched along the hallway floor.  The house is still.  Dad...

Good morning Beckett,  I’ve been trying to be good at documenting your life- so that someday, when you're older, you can come back here and read about it. All your firsts. All our adventures. What life was like when you were born.  What our house sounded like. What our mornings were like. I’ve documented your siblings and what life has been like for them. So while you’re small and growing I’m trying to document you- so I remember.  The first few months weren’t necessarily hard, we just had to adjust to a little one again. I was tired and could barely function. You wanted to be with me all the time. You wanted to nurse a lot. You slept a lot, right on me- but I did not mind at all. I loved every minute of being with you. Daddy woke up in the middle of the night the first few weeks to help me change your diapers and made sure I was comfortable. But it was usually just you and I. Nursing you, rocking you back to sleep in those quiet morning hours.  We were busy with a n...

January and February  Winter has always felt like a season that asks us to slow down. The world outside grows quiet beneath blankets of snow while life inside becomes smaller, softer, slower. Days were spent curled up under blankets, binge-watching Netflix, stealing afternoon naps, warming cold hands around mugs of hot cocoa, watching winter berries peek through the snow, listening to the wind rattle the windows during blizzards. And in the middle of all that winter… The greatest surprise of our lives arrived. Five weeks early. I had imagined the ending of my pregnancy a hundred different ways. I secretly hoped he’d hang on just a little longer so we could share a birthday. Instead, he chose his own story. And yes!!!  A boy!  Bright blue eyes.  Fuzzy strawberry blonde hair and his daddy’s nose.  All 4 pounds 9 ounces and 17 inches of pure love!  By far, my easiest birth.   I started the new year with a horrible cold and cough, and little di...