Dear Daughter

Dear Daughter, 

Time is such a thief. 

Yesterday you were 12.

Today you turn 13. 

Saying goodbye to your childhood.

Officially becoming a teenager.

Undeniably no longer a little kid, as much as I want to hold onto your childhood. 

You traded in your doll brushes for make up brushes.

Dresses and bows for ripped jeans and scrunches. 

Sparkly slip on shoes for tie up vans and converse.

Coloring books for a cell phone. 

I knew this day was coming.

I knew the past year it was coming. 

I knew the past month and week, that this day would come and I would never be able to stop it.

But here we are and it still feels crazy to me.

Weren't I just swaddling you up so gently, holding you close in my arms and bringing you home?

My heart full of a love I've never experienced before. 

I'd take in all your beautiful little features then, now I take in all your beautiful grown features. 

My first born. 

The one who made me a mama. 

The one who taught me how to love unconditionally.

The one who helped me start living.

Who loved me for just being your mother and I never had to be anything else.

While I helped you grow, I was growing myself as well.  

Into someone who you could be proud to call your mother. 

I wish I could take some things back.

Yell less. 

Be more patient.

Be more present in the moment.

Enjoy the blessing of you.

But through all the good and the bad, these moments have all shaped you into the beautiful teenager and person you have become and I couldn't be more proud. 

I will always show up for you. 

I will always be there in the front row when you scan the bleachers, auditorium or field. 

I will always be there cheering you on, because I'm your biggest fan and have always been. 

Maybe not your loudest fan, your dad takes that title. 

With each passing day, you will need us a little less, but when you do, we will always be here. 

Over the last 13 years we have learnt so much about each other, what drives each other crazy, what makes us laugh, what makes us cry, what we love about each other and how we handle and get through things together. We always perceiver, get stronger and closer. 

You may not always like me or want me, but I'll always show up when you need me. I'll always do my best to make you know you are loved so deep and unmeasurable. 

You make me proud. 

You inspire others: being a girl on the boys tackle football team. 

Let me make sure you know, it’s ok to make mistakes, it’s inevitable. That’s how you learn, no one is perfect, we are all imperfectly human. When you come to a obstacle and need to make a choice, make sure you are making the choice that is best for you, follow your heart, not other people's. Even if its a hard decision. Things always find a way to fall into place, so don't stress to much, that's always been one of my many flaws. There are always setbacks that will make you discouraged, but you will pull through them, you will figure it out. Just be true to yourself always. 

Nurture your relationships. Don't be too much for too many though, don't spread yourself out to thin. Don't be afraid to be your own person, don't be afraid to be independent. But also, never ever be afraid to ask for help when you need or want it- that's real courage, showing you are vulnerable. Most importantly, believe in yourself- that will take you anywhere you want to go in life. 

And I already know, you aren't afraid to try knew things. We've been through a handful of different sports and plays. This is ok, you are trying to find yourself, where you fit in and what you enjoy doing. Never be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and try knew things. 

So today, we eat up our traditional smoothie birthday bowls, we blow out the candles on childhood and through the lingering smoke and very loud singing from siblings and cousins, we embrace the future and what is in store for you. Today you begin to take on all your hopes and dreams for the very bright future. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!