Dearest little One

Dearest little one,

I dreamt of you for so long. 

A piece of your daddy.

And a piece of me. 

Love. 

I wonder who you’ll be.

Who you’ll look like.

If you’ll have my curly hair

and my dimple.

If you’ll have daddy’s dark hair

and his eyes.

Which sibling you’ll resemble most. 

If you’ll have my stubbornness

or his patience.

My laugh

or his quiet way of loving.

I wonder what little pieces of us

you’ll carry with you.

What will be yours alone.

The little things we can’t imagine yet,

but will come to know by heart.

I wonder what it will feel like

to finally look at you

and see a little bit of both of us

looking back.

Soon enough we’ll find out. 

Soon enough, we won't be one anymore.

No longer moving as one.

You, safely tucked beneath my heart.

My ribs your armor.

My body your home. 

My heartbeat, the soundtrack of the beginning of your life that you’ve come to know so well. 

Soon, we will never be this close again.

Warm, snuggled, safe within my womb. 

Moving as one. 

You began as the tiniest heartbeat.

Two pink lines. 

A secret, just between you and me. 

Only for a short time. 

Then your daddy. 

You grow, and I carry you. 

You know my voice.

The songs I sing to you. 

You know the sound of my beating heart. 

The sound of my lungs filling with air. 

The soft rhythm of my hand rubbing across my swollen belly. 

And I know you, too. 

I know what it feels like when you move.

When you hiccup.

When you kick.

When you stretch your tiny body beneath my skin. 

All the moments that you remind me you are there. 

And somehow,

before I have ever seen your face,

I already know you.

For now,

my heartbeat is your lullaby,

my body is your home,

and my arms are still waiting to hold you.

Soon enough,

you’ll be here.

I'll finally get to see.

The little face I've imagined.

The little person that I've loved. 

But tonight,

you are still beneath my heart.

Still safe.

Still warm.

Still mine.

And for just a little while longer,

We are still one.