Life.Planted.

“Dads are most ordinary men turned by love into heroes, adventures, storytellers and singers of song.” -Pam Brown  Happy Father’s Day to this guy!  Life is better because of you.  Thank you for taking on this crazy adventure of parenthood with me. You put me at peace knowing I’m not alone in this crazy life.  These kids will never need, (but always want) and never know what it feels like to not be loved, supported and cheered for.  Today was your day, but just like everyday, you still showed up for everyone else. We love you to the furthest moon and back again. Xoxo

Dear Daughter,   Time is such a thief.  Yesterday you were 12. Today you turn 13.  Saying goodbye to your childhood. Officially becoming a teenager. Undeniably no longer a little kid, as much as I want to hold onto your childhood.  You traded in your doll brushes for make up brushes. Dresses and bows for ripped jeans and scrunches.  Sparkly slip on shoes for tie up vans and converse. Coloring books for a cell phone.  I knew this day was coming. I knew the past year it was coming.  I knew the past month and week, that this day would come and I would never be able to stop it. But here we are and it still feels crazy to me. Weren't I just swaddling you up so gently, holding you close in my arms and bringing you home? My heart full of a love I've never experienced before.  I'd take in all your beautiful little features then, now I take in all your beautiful grown features.  My first born.  The one who made me a mama.  The one who taught...

I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner. bath. books. bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less.  ~Anna Quindlen 

 “We all have slow days, off days, days we feel tired or uninspired, but they are nothing to concern yourself with. Like the ocean, the stillness is just another of our natural states. Soon, the winds will return, the waves will rise, and your imagination will flow freely again.”  ~beau taplin    The last week has been full of unmotivation and uninspired. The slow and off days. The cold, heavy, windy days of spring. But yet, still a busy week full of sports and events. Spring is slow and cold this year and refusing to speed up faster than she wants to. If the cold wind isn’t blowing, it’s raining. With warm sunny days far and few in between. The beginning of long, hot summer days nowhere in sight.  But the grass is growing tall as it should and buds burst on the tree limbs as they were meant to. Birds sing their song and I soak up the sunshine on the porch with a book in hand when I get the chance to. The days still go on. We occupy ourselves with play rehearsal...

Spring is officially 3 more days away!!  The sun is shining and warm. Previews of life crawling out from the thawed ground. The last few weeks I feel like my energy has been sucked out of me and used to sprout new life from the earth.  I always feel this change of season the most. Maybe because it feels like the dark we've been living in is now illuminated by light. My mind and body is thawing out along with our part of the Earth.  My eyes and chin rise up toward the light instead of fall into darkness.  And the days burn brighter longer. And things have slowed down.... and I don't worry to much about the things that don't get done because they do get done eventually, just at a slower pace. (Like the playroom I've been painting for three weeks now lol)  Soon enough the pace will pick back up. lacrosse. boat season. sailing. plays. summer. football. It's all right around the corner.  We've also slowed down because our little family is all on the mend from a ...

March  "With rushing winds and gloomy skies, the dark and stubborn winter dies." ~Bayard Taylor One of those winter days when the sun is warm, but the chill is still in the air.  The sun shines bright in the morning then a pasty overcast sky in the afternoon.  Pointing your face towards the morning light to embrace your skin in warmth.  A taste of spring on the horizon, waiting for the change in the season, birds chirping from their post, but you know winter will still hang on for a little bit longer.  The snow has hardened on the ground. Slippery and broken. Taking its time to melt.  It always surprises me how green the grass is when the snow melts, but not now. Now it's dead and grey and dull. Trees empty of life. Pale winter sun shining through the winter clouds. The only greenery comes from inside the home from house plants. Hanging plants, plants climbing the walls. Plants reaching, absorbing up the warmth of sunlight streaming through the windows....

"Cause every single day, before I knew your name I couldn't see your face, but I prayed for you. Every heartbreak trail when all hope failed. On the highway to hell, I prayed for you." I prayed for you. For so long. Through heartache and blurry eyes. Through headaches and moments of weakness. For as long as I can remember, I prayed for you. I prayed for your unrelenting love even when I push and pull you away. I prayed for your selflessness to give your whole being to your little family.  I prayed to have someone to dream with and make dreams come true.  I prayed for a best friend. I prayed for us to share the load of life.  I prayed for comfort in the form of a person. I prayed to be lead home to you.  I prayed to lay in your strong arms.  I prayed for your rugged exterior, but delicate heart.  I prayed for love, to feel loved, to have someone to love. I prayed for someone to keep the demons at bay. I prayed for your strength in my moments of weakness....